You are one gorgeous gal!!! I would add since I play for both teams that girls can also find you sexy AND you can bang hot girls. Ok well I have a girlfriend so the multiple girls is in theory. And a husband I'm also poly! Look at that--a Goddess sized woman with TWO people who want her!!
Also--when you get a compliment, don't just believe it--say thank you! Just as important for boys! Smile at yourself in the mirror. It's ok to post pictures of yourself on your blog because you are proud of who you are and you want to encourage others to feel good about themselves--NOT because you're trying to "get attention" that bullshit courtesy of my mother Thank you for such an amazing post This is amazing You are inspiring.
This is, indeed, awesome It is appalling to see how many women that are beautiful believe they're not just because of the size they are. But still, some of us must acknowledge that looks aren't our strong point, whatever size we are.
And that's still ok. I'm one of the unfortunate ones. I am not pretty, by most all? And that's totally separate from the fact that I'm fat. But I have other stuff going for me. To acknowledge it is to accept it, or decide to work on it. And move on.
Thats a really interesting viewpoint, and who am I to say you're wrong? If recognizing your inherent talents and strengths and leaving your looks behind brings you peace and happiness More power to you grrrlfriend. You have answered one of those questions that has plagued me my whole life. Everyone has rolls. Being a fat girl from babyhood I always looked at the skinny people and wondered. My life is complete now I have the answer :.
This was my first time seeing your site and reading any of your posts Thank you, for being real about it all. As a bigger woman who was raised to try fit a certain mold and who is now raising a daughter who will also feel the effects of media and society to fit in, it is important to read that we are wonderful and beautiful as is. I may even let her read this What would I add?
That what you said applies to us bony-assed chicks who struggle to keep our weight UP. I may be teeny tiny but I won't fucking break because I'm made of flesh not fine porcelain. Love, love, love what you have to say about just getting over the self-hate bullshit. We all need that message. Glad Tucson loves you. I miss that town sometimes. It was a shock to learn other places aren't so accepting of diversity, so to speak.
Body love applies to all, but I don't feel comfortable writing about thinner women because Thanks for this point. Thank you for writing such an amzing post that I can't believe no one's actually written before.
I've realized most of this stuff on my own, over time, but it's always incredibly validating to hear another person agree with you. When I shared it on Facebook, one of my friends a skinny dude, if it matters made a point that I wanted to share, in relation to the "Fat chicks bang hot guys all the time. The part of me that does bang stereotypical hot guys and still shakes my head in wonder every time they tell me I'm gorgeous, or they love being with me, wants to tell my friend to get over it; this is something I'VE had to fight against my whole life, as a fat girl.
But upon further reflection, I wonder if he's making a good point. I don't know. As someone who's said the very same thing, I know for sure that you didn't mean that. Just wanted to share because it made me think. And thank you again for being freaking awesome and making the day of so many people I know today with this post. So so true. I didn't clarify enough that the belief is that atypical women dont deserve typical men. I would never shame anyone no matter their gender, so thanks for letting me clarify!
I added this, because many people mistook my paragraph: To clarify, in this case, when I say "hot" I mean conventionally "hot". This is not meant to fat shame any gender, as hot is relative and an individual opinion. This paragraph is mean to dispel the myth that atypical bodies can't be paired with typically attractive bodies. This is false, and women need to know that all bodies can be paired with all bodies.
When reading, also keep in mind that I happen to be attracted to conventionally attractive men. Yay for constructive conversation on the internet! Something we all could use more of! I love this post. It is currently being shared around my Facebook group. In the last year, I have come to love my body and my curves. So many of the things you said are right on. Simply love it. I know people with anorexia that have the same struggles and thought systems.
I mentioned in the above comment that I don't have the experience to write about that since I've never been "skinny", but all of this applies to all body types! For the record not everyone has rolls when they bend. Also for the record I look like a holocaust victim so that probably has something to do with it :P.
Okay, okay. Whenever I make an absolutist statement, there is always a disagreement. I should have said All my life I've been thin, and I would just like to add something to this. Being the 'skinny bitch' is not what you might think it is. While I know the larger of us ladies feel insecure and worry about their outside appearance, believe it or not I've been told I'm disgusting too. I've had men, girls even friends tell me that I'm too skinny and that they are concerned, spread rumors that I was anorexic and 'thin as a rail', 'bony' , 'gross' were terms used by these people.
Even relatives I had took it upon themselves to speak to my parents about my weight. It hurt. A lot. There was nothing I could really do about my weight and many of these people girls namely hated me because "You can eat anything you want.
I was always frustrated with not being able to gain a pound no matter how much I tried. When I finally reached thirty, my metabolism slowed down and I gained weight. At last people are minded their own business. I guess that's really the lesson here.
People should mind their business about others weight, so everyone can be given the fair opportunity to love themselves. So right. I have a good friend who is over 6ft, super thin, and absolutely gorgeous The whole "eat a sandwich for chrissake".
I am standing here applauding!!! This needs to go viral! I love being "unperfect" in societies eyes. I found a man that thinks I am perfect. Thank you so much for this!! I love this you said exactly what I have been coming to realize in the past few months.
I am a completely hetero married woman with 4 kids and I cant decide if I want to be you or be ON you. And this is Anon because I cant deal with logging out of my biz account and into my home account not because I am ashamed. To clarify, in this case, when I say "hot" I mean conventionally "hot". With respect, I was with you up until this point too.
Certainly your overall message is geared toward self-confidence and not destroying yourself over what others or society deems beautiful, but with this line I couldn't help but see that, despite everything we may feel I'm quite confident and happy with my present frame, but I work out to attain my ideal health and appearance we aren't "conventionally" attractive, which I feel is the real crux of the matter. I'm overweight, and thus I'm not attractive, save for to those who are into bigger frames, as an example statement.
What I feel is important to promote is that we should be aware of our size, whether under or overweight. For health's sake, we shouldn't ignore this fact and strive for better health, and without shaming ourselves, with better diet, exercise, etc, without so much focus on body image.
At the same time, we shouldn't hate ourselves nor claim to be beautiful. If every body truly is beautiful and beauty is subjective, then we are and are not.
If you aren't beautiful to yourself, work on your health and weight in whatever direction until you are. If you are beautiful to yourself, fantastic, but every step of the way focus on YOUR goals and happiness before you start shaming yourself based on the opinions of others, if ever.
Again, I would like to clarify that I support what you're writing, but these body-acceptance support pieces always seem to me to either come off as hypocritical thin-shaming , naive fat is attractive, everyone is wrong, my health is great , or disingenuous.
I admire that your piece comes off sincere and doesn't fall short in these ways, the way so many others do, as I was losing hope in this whole Not sure what you'd call it. Love it. The only thing that gives me hesitation is the line about finding "conventionally gorgeous" guys -- I get what you're saying, but it seems like a bit of a double standard to practice radical self-acceptance which is awesome while applying a "conventional" metric in evaluating others.
It's important to appreciate that sexy and gorgeous come in all kinds of shapes and sizes in other people too. So, by that standard you are admitting that fat women are not "conventionally attractive" either? Or can only men be held to a "conventional" standard?
See when people tell me I'm gorgeous and pretty I immediately assume they are either A. Lying or B. Have terribly poor judgement and shouldn't be asked questions that require them to think critically or in life threatening situations.
I just In my day to day life I am quite logical and matter of fact I'm a scientist. This article has helped me think that I need to pinch myself and realize I am pretty or something. But my internal voice keeps saying "lying to yourself doesn't make it a fact".
I don't really know what I"m trying to say, maybe I just needed to vent. Also, I like your blog. Consider the possibility of changing your body in a way that you can feel that people aren't lying. Body acceptance doesn't have to be about being a "sassy big girl" and telling yourself you're beautiful every day until you believe it.
Work out, eat better and attain the body you desire. There's nothing wrong with that either. But, there's nothing inherently wrong with being overweight, save for what it may mean for your health, if it is a problem that is. Do what you need to do to be truly happy with yourself, just try to minimize the amount that you shame yourself based on the opinions of others. Everyone is beautiful to someone, you just need to find how to be beautiful to you. It's taken a lot of experimentation on my end to figure out what that means, but it includes everything from the clothes I wear to how I treat other people Try a different pair of shoes And don't forget to thank Blogger to link your nice and positive article to all the body-negative posts in the blogosphere Just because you mentioned 'fat'.
Oh, Internet. Keep up the good work. What I find most interesting in all this is that the focus of this article seems rather superficial to me It just seems to me that if a guy wrote this article.. My question to all this - are these so-called "hot guys" and "hot girls" for that matter worth getting to know in the first place?
I don't know about you, but the thought spending time my very precious time on a pretty face with lackluster mind is purely a waste of time.
I personally prefer the curvy figured woman but to hear or read thoughts like this from a barbie doll or a bbw would just make me turn and find someone else worthy of my time. Sorry if my words offend, but this blog felt very offensive to me. I think "fat" "skinny" and "normal" girls alike all need to start seeing themselves as something much more than a sexual object To keep this brief: as a fat woman I am constantly reminded that I am talented, intelligent, and special.
This was meant to be superficial, because my bangin' body isn't to be ignored. I'm brainy and beautiful. That happens.
Hey, just because people are "hot" by normal standards, does NOT mean they have a "lackluster" mind. That is absolute crap. I weigh and I have a 4 yr degree,dedicate my life to helping people, and am the nicest person anyone could meet.
If you dont want "fat" stereotypes then dont talk bout "skinny" stereotypes. Whether someone is fat or skinny has nothing to do with how good their personality or mind is. Just as being fat or skinny has nothing to do with beauty. These things are NOT mutually exclusive, they're not even related! Let me start by saying that I'm coming at this as a former big girl who dropped pounds and got into the competitive fitness world.
I mean NO disrespect, and I love the rest of this, but honestly, I don't think I would highlight men's willingness to have sex with fat women as anything special. Plenty of dudes will sleep with pretty much anyone. I got hit on MORE often by conventionally "hot" dudes when I was fat - but it wasn't because they were attracted to bigger women, it was because they see big girls as an easy lay.
I started wondering about it when I lost weight, and a good number of my male friends have confirmed the notion - there are different standards for what you date and what you bang. Now if a hot guy wants to date you and show you off to his friends, that's awesome.
I had a few wonderful relationships when I was bigger. If your whole interaction involves getting picked up and whisked away for bedroom action, but nothing further ever develops No disrespect taken! It isn't anything special, and all bodies get with all bodies. I never knew that and wanted to bring it into the open for people like me: xoxo. I've pretty much come to accept that, other than my husband of course and a few select men here and there I'm the woman who looks at a hot guy or, and maybe especially, an attractive woman and just pretty much assumes they find me unattractive.
Why wouldn't they. Thank you for such a wonderful, beautiful blog : I'm just finishing a mind coaching session. To which I have finally accepted who I am. And finally able to love myself. And your article has re-enforced this for me and no doubt countless other women : xx.
You might be surprised how many men need to read this blog. Not for their girlfriend's self image, but for their own! I know, I was one! And I'm told fairly frequently that I'm attractive and still find it hard to believe. I'm still working on my self image issues, but I hope to get there. Thank you for giving hope! OK, so articles like that are supposed to help me feel better about myself, but often times I read them and still think "Must be nice to be her and be confident and pretty enough to get the hot guys, get told she's gorgeous, etc Wish I could just read this and absorb it, unfortunately there are something years of self-hate that stand in the way If that's you in the photo, you look lovely.
For what it's worth. I read this. And I read it again. And really really, truly so much want to believe this. Sadly, my experiences have taught me otherwise. I think it can be true, but I also think it matters where you live. The bigger the city, the more likely you are to find that men of all kinds are less ashamed of their love of slightly chubby to big beautiful women.
All I can say is I'm 48 and still looking for that super hunk of my dreams! None of this negates the health problems sadly. I have known many beautiful overweight people, inside and out, but most of them now have joint problems, heart problems, kidney problems or something else related to being overweight. Everyone should love themselves but that includes looking after yourself. Health is the key no matter what you look like. I'll repost this: "If I had a dollar for every time I i heard this I loved it!
Only one disagreement. Some people do need to exercise everyday to feel better about themselves. At least I do. I started exercising to get rid of the fat. Now I exercise everyday to battle the depression that I've dealt with for 2 decades.
It made me love myself just the way I am and the physical results became totally unimportant. I exercise everyday, I'm still fat, probably always will be, and now I'm ok with it. Apr 14, confidence , Curvy Girls 25 comments. Why do men like curvy women? Most men when asked are not impressed by those skinny models in magazines that we see as perfect?
Thinking I was overweight and a lot bigger than my friends. Truth is I was a size 10 with a stomach that I would now give my right arm for! When I had my son I gained about fifty pounds, and ok quite a bit has come off, but not all of it. The thing that also changed my mind about missing the skinny me was that men were still hitting on me. I was a little shocked about it all, but I finally got a male friend to fess up and tell me why he liked curves.
Why do men like curvy women you ask? Make note here, ladies, use those boobs to your advantage! In the history of rock and roll, there has never been a song about a flat butt.
My butt was pretty cute when I was thin, but it really grew and rounded out when I put on a few pounds. I thought for sure it was going to make men move along to the next girl, but I was wrong. In fact, I got more compliments on my bigger butt than I did on my tiny perky butt. Although I miss my perky little rear, I do like the compliments.
Curvy women are softer and men like to be the strong, hard ones in a relationship. I prefer men with weight for one main reason: I hate having bruised thighs after sleeping with a man. Plus food can be sexy! I watched a youtube video the other day where this curvy lady wears her underwear to cook, and now gets paid a fortune to cook in her pants! She is hot, and has millions on make followers. There not watching Mary Berry in the same way — just think Nigella!
Men also like curvy women because, generally, they look younger. I got told the other day I looked thirty two. My round cheeks play a big role in looking younger. Another one of the main reasons men like curvy women is actually biological and subconscious. Men associate wide hips and large breasts with fertility, they always have. A woman with curves was said to be good for child bearing and men associate curves with that notion. I had friend who once told me that her boyfriend confessed he was afraid of hurting her in sex.
He would rather put her on a shelf like a little china doll and not touch her. Remember that she wants love from you, not pity. Many people assume that plus-size girls have a problem finding a partner. But the truth is, they may not have had issues dating in the past. Unfortunately, other people think that big girls have had unusual dating experiences in the past. Instead, love her regardless of her past. But, like other girls, chubby girls also want to go out, and enjoy themselves.
So if you feel embarrassed about holding her hand or kissing her in public, she may not be the right girl for you. Would you mind making an effort to know what she likes? Maybe she loves the movies or eating out. Like dating any other girl, not all days will be the same. Chubby girls pass through lots of ridicule, and some days she may feel insecure. Instead, understand that she may not be ready for it. She may think that you are indirectly telling her to lose weight.
Instead, let her do what she is comfortable doing and be there to support her. A fat girl is just like any other girl, regardless of her weight.
She wants to feel loved and special when with you. Sometimes she may have doubts about her sexual attractiveness. In this case, let her know that she is attractive.
Know her sexual preferences and respect them. Do not insist on sexual positions that could make her uncomfortable. Chubby girls receive negative criticism in their workplaces, schools, and public places. So when dating one, you should brace yourself for negative comments from friends and family regarding your choice of partner.
If you have just started dating a chubby girl, here are five reasons why they make the best girlfriends around;. Chubby girls use smiles to counter the pain of being ridiculed for their weight. As a result, being around them brings a positive vibe.
In addition, chubby girls are naturally friendly, making it easy to click with them. Because a big girl knows that there is not much to focus on other than her body, she will improve her personality and brain. In addition, chubby girls are friendly have lovely personalities that you can hardly get bored around them.
Also, chubby girls are good at reciprocating love, and you can be sure to receive what you give in equal measure. They are bubbly and lovely and give warm, genuine hugs. If you love cuddles and kisses, you can never go wrong dating a chubby girl. A chubby girl will like you not because of your looks but because she means it. When you date a thick girl, she will share your laughter, pain, and dreams without feeling entitled.
Because she loves herself, she will share the same love with you. After all, she wants someone to share her dreams with. A big girl is not on a weight-loss mission. Thus, she is not afraid of gaining weight or eating certain foods. It will be fun exploring different restaurants and trying out new cuisines. Besides, if you love cooking, a chubby girl would make a great kitchen companion. Being chubby is not always a bad thing. There are lots of advantages chubby women have over their skinny competition.
Below are five advantages of being a plus size girl;. People perceive chubby girls as physically strong. Join with Facebook. Is your weight affecting your dating life? Believe me - I see them all the time. So what can you do to make your dating life better?
Here are a few dating tips for guys. First, realize that women like all friends. You see? So stop beating yourself up and realize that there are women who are going zoosk like your body how it is. Working on that is going to help you pull women.
Being funny, challenging women and knowing how to engage in witty mobile banter are great ways to attract friends no matter what you look like. You can read our Banter Cheat Sheet if you need a little help here. While girls like how a iphone looks and then find things they like about her sign, women are much more likely to find a man attractive because of his personality.
I urge all men zoosk hit the sign and offer it over one of the dating tips for guys of all sizes.
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